What does "free" mean?

I well remember an item in the Sydney Morning Herald’s “Column 8” some years ago (though, alas, I don’t remember the date). It went something like this:

A suburban photographic processing shop advertises a charge of $8.99 to develop and print a roll of film. The charge “with free film” is $11.99.

We are becoming inured to blandishments of the form “Buy two — get one free”. But “Pay an extra $3 for your free film” seems to be stretching the credulity of even the most dedicated spendthrift.

The self-contradiction inherent in such usage of “free” seems to pass by most people unnoticed. Perhaps this is because the change was protracted, and started in an almost unexceptionable way. When we could collect box tops, or bottle tops, and send them away for a “free album” or a “free poster”, the acquisition of the free goodie was isolated from the prerequisite expenditure; we had already bought the box of cereals or the bottle of soft drink. If we bought the product specifically to take advantage of the “free” opportunity, that opportunity could be seen as coming at a price; but, if we were going to buy the product anyway, there was no price. This marketing technique began as an exercise in brand competition, so the question (usually) was not “do I buy?”, but “which do I buy?” — no additional expenditure was involved.

However, soon enough the “free” offer was being used to encourage non-competitive buying decisions. To a shopper on a limited budget, perhaps there was still no significant distinction: buying Product X instead of Product Y (mouth freshener instead of hair conditioner, for example) was not very different from buying Brand X instead of Brand Y. But to the shopper with some discretionary spending power, the decision might be one of buying Product X as well as Product Y.

Once a purchasing decision becomes discretionary, the “free” offer becomes a factor in the decision. Once it becomes a factor in the decision, it becomes part of what we make the decision about; it becomes part of what we buy. At best, then, it becomes “included in the price”.

“Included in the price” and “at no extra cost” are exactly synonymous with “nothing more to pay”. But this is not the same as “nothing to pay at all”, which is what we mean — or used to mean — by “free”.